Zander!

My Prince Charming.

Zander Wayne, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you baby boy.

Update

Sooo Annabelle is sick again. It's not good. She sneezed on my face when I was on the phone with Alexxys yesterday and it was kind of really awkward. Hahahah. We keep sleeping lately. Not much to do when you don't work and when you don't really talk to many people. I want to work on my baby booookkkkk. And I JUST WANT TO HAVE THIS DARN KID ALREADY. Come out kiddo pleaseeeeee! I'm getting his dresser tomorrow I think and I think I'm getting my pictures done tomorrow, too! I'm so boredd. And now I am done

it makes me really sad that my friends just seem to 'forget' about me. and it's really funny, because they just don't seem to remember me until i say something. i wish blogs and facebook and the stupid internet didn't exist so i could just forget about things. but it's hard to just not pay attention to those stupid things for some reason. and it sucks. i just miss all my friends that i used to have. oh well.

Scared

So... a lot has been happening. Most of spring break I've been sleeping.. but today Nick had court. I walked into the waiting room looking for his family and didn't realize he was sitting right in front of me! Hahaha but we gave each other the biggest hug. It was so good seeing him again. During court I was really nervous. But Nick says it went better than he expected, so that's really, really good! I hope that he can come home and live with his aunt, it would make everything a lot easier. My doctor told my aunt yesterday that if I start to go into labor that they're not going to try to stop it! Doesn't that sound crazy?? My little son will be here so soon. I can't believe it. I just want to make sure Nick is home so I don't have to go through this whole thing completely alone. :/ I really miss him. I hope I get to see him again soon.. and I'm feeling really crappy. I feel like I have a bad cold or something. :/ But anywho, I hope everyone is having a really good spring break! I miss you guys! But I dont want to go back to school. At least I get to be on leave soon!!! :) I cant wait to see the little guy. I wonder what I'm going to name him............ maybe I should think more about names.

Joys of being small and pregnant

My back is literally killing me and it has been for hours.. I feel awful :(

Update

So this week has been amazing. On Monday I finally got to see Nick after 6 months and I ate taco's with him and his family. It was yummy. And Ashley and I drove his drunk uncle and his friend home because there was no way Trina (Nick's aunt) would let them stay there, but hey, neither would I. It was quite amusing. Gary (Nick's uncle) kept calling me his niece and he kept saying "Oh no, my niece is going to tell on me. Ohh no. Oh no. She thinks I'm weird now." and he kept saying stuff like that. He's so goofy. But then on Tuesday I got to go see him and it was really fun. Nick made fun of me the whole time cause he's a goof. On Tuesday we just cuddled and watched movies. It was really, really nice. He was talking to one of his friends about me, too. He was saying how good it was to see me and how he had missed me so much. And that he's straightening up for me and the baby. It was really nice hearing that. But after he went back to Kearney I haven't been feeling well. Back to feeling the same as usual, I guess! But lunch was good. And now I don't have anything to talk about. So I shall stop typing.

This is my best friend, everyone.

I love him so much. I thank God every single day for having us meet in second grade. "Forever and always and even longer" :)

yayayayayayayaayayayayayaayyay!

I AM SO EXCITED FOR SUNDAY AND MONDAY 

But my Aunt Sandee came to visit the other day and it was totally awkward and idk i don't like seeing her because she doesn't understand my choices. When she was pregnant at 16, she gave her daughter up for adoption and she doesn't want me to 'live in poverty for the rest of my life.' But she was super shocked that he has his own room and everything, in a way i think she's happy for me, but I know she'd rather me give him to a couple in Georgia. But yeah I just want it to be Sunday so I can parrrrttttaaaayyyyy!

My little love bug!!!

I am just really, really sad.

Seriously almost put me into labor

LOL

My Poor Baby

She's been so sick and I feel so awful:( I hope she feels better soon! She's been doing nothing but cuddling with her momma and sleeping. :(

Update

I'm totally upset because now I have stretchmarks and I'm so mad I just want to freak out and kill everyone. I'm sick of that darn dog following me everywhere I go and I am very upset at my mom because last night I cleaned the house and mopped the floors and did all that junk and ordered pizza and SHE DIDN'T EVEN EAT IT. I'm so angry. And this belt is killlllliiiiiinnnnnngggggggg me and I'm very upset because people keep looking at me like I'm some weirdo and it's annoying. Like c'mon people I'm not the only pregnant person in the world. BUT I WANT THIS BELT TO GO AWAY.

scariest.night.ever.

Update

Lately my moms been really stressing me out and I don't know what to do about it because there's not much I can do about it. Work is stressful because I'm working so much that it's overwhelming me and I just want to be able to sleep and sleep and sleep until I can't sleep anymore and I just want to work on my dream book because blogging is so boring and i'm mad ass hell at Mrs. Harrison for skipping out on us but yeah

why was today so awful 

119 days today.

Woah

In 67 days I'll be giving birth to the most beautiful baby in the world.

My day

Today was a good day. I got to see my adorable son, got to spend time with Nick's aunt, cleaned my room, I don't work today, and I wasn't feeling like normal today. I felt pretty happy today. I wish everyday was like today was.

Letters

Even though I spend most of my time alone, I'm glad that I have a wonderful boyfriend like Nick here, even if he's not really here right now. I know for a fact that I couldn't have came this far without his support and without his letters. They seriously make me so happy. And he's right, all this distance was truly the best thing for us and it will all be worth it when he finally does get to come home. Lately we've been bickering, but the letter I got yesterday was probably the sweetest/cheesiest thing I've ever read. I love him so much. I'm so glad that I get the chance to say that I'm dating my best friend. I honestly have no idea what I would do without him. I can't believe that on Monday we'll have been together for 8 whole months. That seems like such a short time for some reason. Perhaps it's because we've known each other our whole lives. Probably because it's felt like we've been on and off dating our whole lives. haha. Our relationship is something else. I'm so happy that he's here for me. I don't know what I'd do without my sweetheart. Gosh, I love that kid with all of my heart.

Stressed

I'm so stressed with school and junk at home and quitting work. I'm really tempted to just not go into work tomorrow. I just want a day where I can just lay down and hang out with my son and Nick. I just want everything to really feel okay again. I hate not being able to trust anything my friends say. I hate not trusting anyone anymore. I hate feeling hate towards everything. I just really want things to get better. I just want to feel happy and excited about things again. I mean, I'm extremely happy and excited to meet my son and for Nick to come home so we can all be one happy family, but it seems like those moments will never come because they're taking way too long to get here. I just want my mom to actually take time out of her day to ask me how my day was or to even talk to me, but she doesn't and probably won't ever. She never has. I just want her to act like she cares. When my son is old enough to talk and to understand things, I'll ask him every single day how his day was. I'll hug him daily and I'll do everything I can to remind him that I care. I just want him to live a perfect life, well, as perfect as I can make it. I hope things get better soon.

i just really want a long, meaningful hug.

I want to come home and not get screamed at every single day. I want my family to actually act like they care. I want Nick to come home. I want to feel like I'm loved. I want people to stop calling me a slut and staring at me. I want to be happy. And I want to feel something other than hate. I want to be like the other girls in class that have their boyfriends there and I want to feel comfortable talking in class. I want to feel like I have friends. Ever sense Nick left I've become a bitter person, I'm not happy. I'm always mad at someone or something, I even get mad for people laughing. I just want to go to sleep and stay laying in bed all day and all night. I want to be able to drink soda and not have people try to tell me how awful it is to drink it because I'm doing my child wrong. At least I'm not smoking or doing anything illegal. I'm usually at home, in my room by myself, or I'm working. I deserve a soda that I won't finish every once and a while. I just want my family to hug me and I want to feel safe in their arms, but that doesn't happen. It hasn't happened in months.
i just want to be happy

Im so sick and tired of being treated like shit by everyone all the time. And people wonder why I don't like talking to people, well, all I get in return is to be treated like shit.

Update

This week has been pretty suckish. I've been debating on whether or not to quit my job at Village Inn, but I love my old people too much. My coworkers are so nice to me and they always know how to make me laugh, but there's those other coworkers that just make me want to hit their heads on a wall. There's the people that just make me happy because of our little conversations we have, but there's those people who are stupid and rude and mean and annoying and i just want to beat them up but I don't because I'm nice and I like getting paid. Then, there's the times when my back is hurting so much that I just want to curl up in a ball and just cry forever and ever cause my back hurts so gosh darn much. But then I think about it and realize I don't know where else I'd work at. I mean I could do lots of other things, but I don't know what I would do. I don't know what other things I would like to do. And I REALLY want a job that I'll like. Otherwise I won't wanna go. And I'm so sick of school. I'm tired and I just want to sleep. I'm too tired for work and school and dealing with my sister. And I really want a dog because I really miss my puppy and it just sucks because my sister and my mom have to like the dog, too, but none of us can agree on anyone of the dogs that we like. And it's so annoying! And yesterday I had a two and a half hour shift at Aeropostale and it was so pointless. All I did was clean, really. But on another note, one of my coworkers gave me two HUGE bag of baby boy clothes! How perfect!! :) I'm so excited for him to finally come so i can finally see him!
Oh lordyyyyyyyy I hope this day ends quickly this class is driving me insane.

Im glad shes comfy with her arms on my face!!! What a little fart!